Have you ever paused to reflect, asking yourself, “How did I end up here?” You might find yourself in a life you envisioned or one that took you by surprise. For me, there was a pivotal shift—a paradigm shift—that transformed my perspective entirely.

I faced a series of challenging scenarios that felt overwhelming, and for a time, I found myself trapped in a victim mindset, constantly questioning why these things were happening to me. But deep down, I didn’t want to stay in that space. I realized I had the power to change how I felt about my circumstances.

Embracing that power was liberating. I began to focus on what I could control, shifting my mindset from victimhood to empowerment. It’s incredible how facing obstacles can lead to personal growth and a deeper understanding of ourselves. I starting to ask myself, “What are we all seeking?” And it’s simple, we are all seeking happiness. When we shift our focus inward, we can cultivate a sense of contentment and joy that isn’t dependent on external circumstances. Recognizing that happiness is a choice and a state of being can be liberating. It’s about finding peace within ourselves, regardless of the chaos outside. But, how?

As the thoughts fade, what remains is simply the awareness that those thoughts were even happening. In this stillness, there is love—a surrender to the deep well of love itself. Why is this so important? Because much of our suffering arises from our identification with the ego, the false self we’ve built around our thoughts and emotions. Healing becomes incredibly difficult when we’re unable to disidentify from these psychological patterns.

When we’re caught in the illusion of the false self, we become entangled in the stories, roles, and identities we’ve constructed around our thoughts and experiences, we forget the soul within us—the truest part of who we are. This disconnect between body, mind, and spirit creates a kind of inner tension, pulling us away from our deeper essence. The body and mind then demand that we return to oneness, to the stillness that resides beneath the noise of our thoughts.

Healing, therefore, isn’t just about fixing what’s broken, but about reconnecting with that inner stillness. It’s about surrendering to love and rediscovering the peace that has always been within us. When we let go of the illusion of separation, we align with a deeper truth: that we are already whole.

Finding happiness begins within us, and as I always say, “start simple and keep it simple.” To truly cultivate joy, we must return to stillness and prioritize ourselves first. Here are a few ways I began my journey of inner change, focusing on self-care before extending my support to others:

Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for activities that nourish your body and mind, whether it’s exercise, reading, or simply relaxing. Start with one task each day to prioritize yourself. I started to go to the gym even when my false self was telling me I should be doing something else because it was a Friday night. I continued to push through my thoughts and built new beliefs and a stronger mind and body each time I went.

Set Intentions: Begin each day with a positive intention. Every morning, I step outside and create an intention for the day. Creating the space and grace for myself.

Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment.

Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This builds a sense of accomplishment. When shifting my mindset, I was so hyper-focused on what I wasn’t doing instead of giving myself grace for the everyday small tasks.

Engage in Mindful Moments: Take brief pauses throughout your day to check in with yourself and breathe deeply, grounding yourself in the present.

What were the key changes you made that helped you navigate this journey?

How have you worked on nurturing that inner happiness?

How do you find your way back to that stillness when life feels overwhelming?